Summary: When we say you should never get plastic surgery for your boyfriend, we really mean it. Plastic surgery is designed for you—for you to be happy and content with the way you look. But it only works right when you’re addressing issues that you actually want to address. In other words, getting a rhinoplasty is great. But only if you want to change your nose (and not really if your boyfriend wants you to change your nose).
When it Gets Down to It, You Should Never Get Plastic Surgery for Your Boyfriend
Plastic surgery is about you. That means you should never get plastic surgery for your boyfriend. It doesn’t matter how serious you are. It doesn’t matter how in love you are. None of that matters. I’m not trying to write an advice column here, but if your significant other is threatening to leave because you don’t look a certain way, let them.
I’m bringing this up because of the stories floating around the internet lately about YouTube star Berry Ng. Reportedly, Ng underwent something like 30 different procedures in order to please her boyfriend. The two have since gone their separate ways, which his good. But it evokes a situation that is all too common: getting plastic surgery to impress someone else.
If there’s a recipe that leads to regret over plastic surgery, it usually begins with this. That’s why you should never get plastic surgery for your boyfriend. You should get it for yourself.
Sometimes It’s Not That Easy
Sometimes it’s really easy to know why you’re getting a certain plastic surgery procedure. Maybe you’ve always been happy with your breasts but your boyfriend suggests you should get implants and so you go along with it. In that kind of situation, it’s pretty easy to draw a line form point A to point B.
But there a definitely situations where things get a little murky. People in relationships will often say things about each other in passing that they don’t mean to be taken seriously. But those small utterances can get under our skin and create a fixation. Maybe suddenly you’re self-conscious about your nose because your boyfriend said something about it in passing.
But is that feeling of self-consciousness coming from you or from your boyfriend? You can see where things begin to get a little murky. It’s difficult to tell where these feelings really come from.
Some Questions to Ask Yourself
There are some questions you can ask yourself (and that you should be prepared to answer from your surgeon) that can shed some light on this:
- Will you he happy with the results after your relationship is over? Plastic surgery is designed to generate long term happiness. It’s supposed to make you content with the way you look for years. If the results only last for the duration of your relationship, there’s something wrong.
- Did you feel self-conscious about your body before? If you felt good about your nose before but bad about it now, what changed? Did your boyfriend’s comment crystalize a feeling that was already there? Or did he plant a seed that became a weed of self-doubt?
- How long have you wanted to undergo surgery? If you’ve wanted surgery all your life (or, you know, for an extended period of time), then you’re likely making the right choice. But if you started to consider plastic surgery as an option right around the time your boyfriend started making comments, that could be the sign of an issue. It’s definitely something to talk to your plastic surgeon about.
Discussions During Your Consultation
You’ll probably have a few discussions about this during your consultation with your surgeon, but it’s not always easy to get to the root of some of these feelings. If you feel insecure about your nose, it’s tough to know precisely where that insecurity came from.
And if you don’t know where that insecurity came from, it can also be difficult to know exactly how to proceed.
In Ng’s case, she ended up splitting up with her boyfriend. Once she realized that her plastic surgery compulsion had gotten out of control (and what it’s roots were), she says she dumped her boyfriend. That might not be good relationship advice for all, but, from where I’m sitting, it’s a fitting treatment for any significant other who is pushing a plastic surgery agenda.
Answering Questions Honestly
So, during your consultation, your surgeon is going to ask you a ton of questions about stuff like this. Your surgeon may not be direct about it, of course. He or she may ask you how your home life is or something like that.
It’s important that you answer these questions honestly. Surgeons want to make sure that they’re really helping someone achieve the kind of satisfaction that’s going to last. They definitely don’t like it when patients have significant regrets.
So being honest about your motivations, your insecurities, and your history is vital. Because you should never get plastic surgery for your boyfriend. You should get it for yourself. And that’s how you’ll get the satisfaction you’re after.